Be Kind to Yourself

It's taken a little longer than I dare to admit, but I've realised that expectations and reality are often vastly different. And my expectations of myself don't always match the truth, which is okay.

When I signed up for Rebel Badge Club, I had all these high expectations of my life. I had in my head that I'd get some earth-shattering sense of achievement every time I completed a clause. Or a crowd would suddenly appear to slow-clap me when claiming a badge. Or I'd become hyper-social, with a bunch of new friends to spend time with doing activities and ticking off badges together, as if work, money, energy and my introverted self would suddenly be no obstacle. I'm sure you'll be shocked to discover that didn't happen. Not even the slow clappers!

I also set this blog up before I'd even had my badge book delivered after discovering that it would count for the Writer badge. That was four months ago, but I got here eventually!

After reviewing my badge progress, I realised I needed a serious (but gentle) reality check. How can I expect to have the energy for the Adventurer badge without exploring the Self Care badge? How can I rightly claim the Good Habits badge if all the habits I put are unachievable for the person I actually am? Maybe one of my good habits should be kicking this toxic trait out of my life.

So, inspired by the gratitude journal I've been (trying) to keep for my Mindfulness badge, I've given myself some mantras.

Mantra One: It's okay to bide your time

I don't want to be as corny as to say, "stop and smell the flowers", but honestly, if you don't pause to take in the badge journey, what's the point in doing it?

I purposely took longer to complete my Linguist badge than stated because I didn't want to get a false sense of achievement by ticking everything off as soon as I did it - I wanted to savour it and make sure I really earnt it. And I felt better for it. If I'd quickly cooked off some Welsh Cakes a month ago and ticked off the badge after 90 days of learning - the bare minimum - I wouldn't feel as confident in my knowledge as I do today. In fact, I probably would have put down Duolingo and called it a day, whereas now I'm compelled to keep up with my Welsh lessons so I can keep checking out S4C shows and tweeting my uncle in Welsh.

But, on the flip side, I'm trying not to beat myself up for not completing badges within the recommended time frame. I was chuffed that I managed to tick my last craft off a week before the three-month mark, but my three months for the Reader book was two days ago, and I still have 100 pages to go. That's okay, though, because I'm enjoying the trip, and I'm not forcing myself to work on a badge I'm not in the headspace for.

I'm here to enjoy myself, so why rush or force it? That just takes away the fun!

Mantra Two: It's okay to reboot

I really wanted to tick the Good Habits and My Goals badges off my to-do list. They seemed like surefire ways to feel like I'd hopped on the fast track to adulting. But in my rush to get started, I wasn't very kind to myself with my habit goals.

While my choices for the My Goals badge were a little more achievable, my habits were awful. I'd based them on achievable goals for the person I want to be, not the person I am. While my ideal self would easily - and happily - hit 10k steps a day, my current self sometimes doesn't have the energy to do more than 2k (especially on horrid, rainy days). And while I'd love to get better at giving myself space to boot up before work in the morning, I know that more often than not, I wake up and just want to get cracking because the sooner I start, the earlier I can finish.

So, despite being six weeks in, I rebooted the badge. Now I have achievable habits that will improve my life without draining myself. It'll take longer, but it'll be worth the wait!

Mantra Three: It's okay to save the best 'til last

Claiming badges like Adulting, Crafting and Reader didn't overly feel like an achievement to me - not when I consider all the other badges on the table. After all, these are things I do on a day-to-day basis.

When I flick through the badge book, I want to do them all, and I want to do them now. My impatience frustrates me, especially with badges that I can't do immediately.

Take the pretty much all of the Wild badges. I want to get started and do them all - they excite me. But the reality is that they're just not feasible. I don't have camping gear or funds for ziplining and axe throwing.

But saving the 'best' until last gives me something to look forward to and brings me right back to the first mantra of taking time to enjoy badges that CAN be done right now. And even if it's stuff I do daily, I deserve a badge - especially for stepping out of my comfort zone with craft projects and book genres... and for defrosting the freezer!

It's all about being kind

If you're struggling to balance your expectations and reality, just remember: be kind to yourself. Don't rush through life, letting everything pass you. Soak it all up and enjoy your activities instead of thinking about the next thing or the thing after that. You might find that slowing down, restarting or postponing is all the self-care you need.

Be kind to yourselves, Rebels.

Rachel x